Thoughts on the split-attraction model?

submitted by usehername from (self.Bisexuals)

If you don't know that the split-attraction model is, it's basically the idea that a person has two orientations: romantic and sexual. For example, a woman could be sexually attracted to women only, but romantically attracted to just men. What are your thoughts on this? I think it's ridiculous. A woman who is exclusively attracted to other women is a lesbian, even if she might enjoy going on a date with a man, receiving flowers from him, or some other equally asinine socially constructed B.S. The woman in this example sounds like she has internalized homophobia, because despite being exclusively attracted to other women, she's put-off by the idea of actually romantically caring for her same-sex partner as a human being and not a sexual object, and is still holding on the idea of the ideal het wife+kids life.

Since romance is a social construct, it can't be hard-wired. People having sex with each other is material reality and not a social construct.

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[–]PatsyStone 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've never experienced much of a separation between the two and honestly the idea that that's normal is bizarre to me. Seems kind of fucked up.

[–]Lizzythelezzo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It may be relevant and helpful for people who are asexual, but I think it becomes more problematic when applied to people who are not. I do agree that a lot of people who claim to be heteroromantic and homosexual are just gay and in denial... I'm not sure whether romantic love is just a construct though. I did read that neuroscientists have found particular parts of the brain light up when someone is in love, and the brainwave patterns are unique. The problem is we can't really look inside people's brains so it's hard to pin down exactly what romantic attraction actually means. It's not a physical activity like sex that's a bit more straightforward to define and categorise.

[–]PriestTheyCalledHim 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It just makes bisexuality even more confusing to nin-bisexuals, and nobody that is biIRL goes around saying things like 'Hi my name is...and I am a biromantic bisexual!'