“‘Bisexual’ (men) is just code for insincere gay man”

submitted by PeakingPeachEater from (self.Bisexuals)

Here's the source: Why Bisexual Men Are Still Fighting to Convince Us They Exist.

Travis has had both boyfriends and girlfriends since high school. But when his coworkers discovered his dating history at a board game night, they told him he couldn’t be bisexual. “Bi men don’t exist,” they said. “You’re just a confused gay guy.” Travis, 34, had brought his girlfriend with him that night, but they started calling her his “roommate” after they found out he was bi.

Santiago got an even harsher reaction when he came out to his family. “‘Bisexual’ is just code for insincere gay man” is how he said one of his relatives reacted. “He didn’t use the term ‘gay man,’” 24-year-old Santiago told me, “but I won’t repeat slurs.”

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[–]ElectricSheep 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I've gotten this before, both from my own girlfriend and from others. They just can't accept that it's possible. It's wild.

One of the many reasons I'm quiet about it these days, and why I'm not looking to date.

[–]Airbus320 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

😮

[–]PeakingPeachEater[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's nice to hear from bisexual men to see how their perspective is like.

That bites that you have to deal with this crap from your girlfriend and others! It's riduculous that they don't want to believe that there are men capable of loving/being attracted to both sexes.

[–]ElectricSheep 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's long in the past, but thanks. It's all ridiculous anyways.

[–]Silverdarling 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've had the female version of this in that most of the people I've come out to seem to conflate what I'm saying as "I'm just a whore who will get off with anyone to gain male approval". Like if you're a bi woman you're essentially straight, and your same-sex attractions are just a bit of fluff to titillate the men you are obviously more interested in.

Seems for bisexuals of both sexes, our attraction to males is taken as being the serious one, and our attraction to females viewed with suspicion!!

Why do you guys think this might be? Some kind of subliminal misogyny?? Or is it that monosexuals might be genuinely intimidated by us? As in, with straight/gay there always exists a sex where there can only be platonic feelings – but that's not true for us. We can literally fancy anyone (standards permitting obviously) – and maybe that's a fundamentally frightening idea for monosexuals?? Like they lack the imagination to understand the appeal of both sexes so they just assume we're delusional or outright lying?