How Many Funerals Have you Been to?

submitted by Stankmango from (self.AskSaidIt)

I count 11.

  • Uncle Charlie (Black and not a real uncle but a godfearing sonnetist) Too young to recall
  • Barbara (Neighbour to my dad's parents. Smelled of cat piss) Too young to recall
  • Uncle Bryn (Life support but still an avid rugby fan) Too young to recall
  • My mother's mother (Loved tennis and El Paso line dancing.) Died at almost the exact time I reached puberty so I don't know whether there's any extended Oedipus theories revolving around that.
  • My dad's dad (Loved smoking and horse racing, but was confined to a breathing apparatus and a surplus of XXX mints.) Around the same time my nan died. No ill feeling.
  • My cousin's dad (Pancreatic cancer. Top notch bloke with a passion for cricket and mancave-tier gadgets.) That was a full house. Fucker had a lot of friends.
  • My step-dad's mum (She acted like a ginned up spinster. Lots of raunchy jokes and wafting frocks. She used lard instead of butter for everything which made me feel sick.) Decent spread. Vol-au-vents.
  • My nan's Gran (Bedridden for 10 years with dementia. I once had to tear down the curtains to stop shadow people creasing the glass.) That was only about 20 people altogether. Just a quick crem and a couple swift halves at the pub down the road.
  • My gramp's Gran (She was brought up in India during the raj but she hated kids) Too young to recall
  • Step dad's friend (Died on site.) No idea. I think I was high as fuck that day.
  • Benny Boy (My beautiful collie/sheepdog mix died of paw cancer at the ripe old age of 15.) We cremmed his remains and scattered them in three fields.
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[–]SecretlyHistoric 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

In the past two or three years? 7. Both maternal grandparents, one maternal great uncle, one maternal great aunt. Two friends, and my co workers father

[–]SecretlyHistoric 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

It got to the point where about every six months I ended up going to a funeral.

[–]Stankmango[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I made this post because an aunt I met once finally succumbed to her potless MS. Another notch on the coffin next friday.

[–]SecretlyHistoric 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Damn, I'm sorry. Having to go to funerals suck.

[–]Stankmango[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Don't be sorry, my boy. What's your total death tourist tally anyhoo?

[–]SecretlyHistoric 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

About 17 or 18, I think. Pretty bad when the people who run the funeral parlour greet you by name. :p

[–]magnora7 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

3, not that many now that I think about it, I guess

[–]poestal 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

about 47ish... small towns gives you allot of people that you know. family wise would be about 14. most of them being old age, 1 from a rock climbing accident, 3 car accidents, about 4 from cancer but luckily no suicides.

[–]roc 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

All four grandparents and two aunts. No deaths near my age so far, luckily.