HomophobiaI’m so tired of the normalization of the word “queer”

submitted by MaxDefacto from (self.LGBDropTheT)

Back in the 70s when i was a lot younger, i was attacked and beat up on several occasions. Now im being verbally attacked online for sticking up for people like myself who hate that word. Ill never forget the chants of “faggot” and “queer” as i was being punched, kicked, and stomped. “Queer” is a disgusting word rooted in hatred for gay men. We have to stop using this word and acting like it’s acceptable.

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[–]serf_n_terfStraight Ally - Surf’s up! 🏄‍♀️ 40 insightful - 1 fun40 insightful - 0 fun41 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The ones trying to normalize it are likely straight “NB” types who’ve never had such slurs hurled at them.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That’s why I hate the word so much. The word now means subversion. I do not want to be associated with non-binary people.

[–]DVOHSF 32 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 0 fun33 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I hate how the usage of this word, -which is a slur-, has become so commonplace and prevalent.

[–]BusterGrundle 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm a straight dude who grew up in the 80s and the word makes me uncomfortable as hell. I can't imagine what it's like when you were the recipient of it.

[–]Socialjustus 31 insightful - 1 fun31 insightful - 0 fun32 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

In the 90s my teacher called it "the Q-word" and would have lost it at any kid who used it. It was essentially the gay version of the n-word until VERY recently.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’d shake that teacher's hand.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Strongly agree. I hate the word queer and relish any opportunity to inveigh against it.

If people want to refer to themselves as 'queer', that's not really any of my business. People should be free to refer to themselves however they wish, even if I cringe internally every time someone uses the word.

The problems, for me, are manifold.

Firstly, the word 'queer', like any word that has been co-opted by the woke, no longer has a specific, agreed-upon definition. Originally (if we discount the Victorian usage of 'feeling / acting queer' etc.) it was a slur directed towards gay men. I have no doubt that lesbians or bisexuals of both sexes were also referred to as 'queer', but primarily it was a word used against gay men.

Nowadays, however, anyone can be queer for apparently any reason. It has reverted to its meaning of 'strange or unusual'. People with unusually-coloured hair are 'queer', as are people who likes BDSM or every character in Steven Universe. It's become a quickfire way to signal to people 'I'm not heteronormative! Therefore I'm virtuous!'. It's also something that you can't really disprove. You can't identify into race-based or sex-based oppression because it's obvious to everyone when someone is lying about those things. But being 'queer' is basically invisible and there's no 'test' for it.

Secondly, it's bothersome when people (usually of the above kind) use the word 'queer' when they really mean 'same-sex attracted' or 'trans' or 'gay' or whatever. So things like 'queer representation' or 'the queer community' are particularly jarring because 'queer' doesn't mean anything any more. And it's a further issue when the 'queer' people speak on behalf of others and pretend that they understand the issues that anyone faces based on characteristics they don't share.

I wouldn't be allowed to tell black people about the issues they face. I wouldn't (or for the love of God, shouldn't) be allowed to weigh in on issues of women's bodily autonomy or abortion etc. because I'm not a woman.

As I say, if people call themselves 'queer' I will smile condescendingly and hold my tongue but I have made a promise to myself that if anyone tries to rope me into their horrible 'queer' umbrella I will speak up. Like you, I find it a highly offensive word, on par with 'faggot' or 'poof'.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nowadays, however, anyone can be queer for apparently any reason. It has reverted to its meaning of 'strange or unusual'.

That's very true. And maybe that's a good thing in some ways. It's decreasingly associated with gay men but being associated with society's mediocre, shallow, attention-seeking weirdos. Of course, the said weirdos don't even see that happening because they are a mostly non-reflective lot mindlessly clawing for some social status. They still think it means "Special", "Unique" or "Oppressed Minority deserving of Kudos", because they haven't experienced victimization from these gay slurs; They actually want the labels to be used on them, because they have no negative connotations from them. I think one of these days they're gonna wake up and realize they played themselves, that they shot themselves in the foot by labeling themselves rather fittingly as your run-of-the-mill, strange freaks, and at the same time they will have mostly decoupled the word from actual gay males.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I will admit, I’m not the most politically correct person on the planet. Plus, I have a very dark sense of humour. So under the right conditions, I would not mind the word "queer". But it has traditionally been used as a homophobic slur, and using it as an umbrella term for non-heterosexual people is tone deaf and insensitive. However, I do despise the word "queer" because now it’s being used by woke heterosexuals and self-hating homo/bisexuals as a word to describe themselves. Furthermore, the word has become associated with radical neoliberalism. These two reasons are why I do not consider myself queer, and why I despise the term.

[–]turtleduck23 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

before i never really mind because it wasn't something i often heard, but now, every time an article is written about anything that involves the lgb all you see is queer written. a few months ago i clicked on an article with the headline "new lesbian flick" and aside from the title the word "lesbian" wasn't mentioned once in the article. all it kept repeating was " two queer girls" or "queer representation".

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If you're talking about Portrait of a Lady on Fire, I remember reading an article where the lesbian director mentions she doesn't like the fact that articles about the movie always say queer instead of lesbian, even though both she and one of the actresses are lesbians and it's a movie about lesbians.

[–]Dromedary 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You're not the only one who hates the word. The worst part of it is, it's gay men who were victimized with violence by people using the word, but absolutely NO ONE gives a damn, no one listens when you suggest the word is hateful. No you get laughed at, or "ok Boomer lol" (I'm not a Boomer). And nearly ALWAYS it's not a gay man using it. 9 time out of ten it's some young woman writer at the Cut or Jezebel who wants to show she's "down" with the LGBTQIA++ that just LOVES the word "queer". Imagine any other group receiving this treatment. "Well, some Black people have "reclaimed" the N word, so we're going to use it to describe all African-Americans and we don't care if they object. Get over it, LOL." No, you can't imagine it. What really sucks is to see it at establishment papers like the NY Times, they're all over the word "queer" as interchangeable with "Gay" these days, and it sucks.

Because papers like the Times, New Yorker etc. are extremely particular about words and usage and have extensive rules. Funnily, one of those is that "LGBTQ" always has to be written. " L.G.B.T.Q. "

[–]usehername 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

you get laughed at, or "ok Boomer lol" (I'm not a Boomer)

What generation are you? I'm Gen Z (quite young lol) so I haven't gotten that response, but I can see that happening if you're middle aged. This is why it's important to get young people on board.

"Well, some Black people have "reclaimed" the N word, so we're going to use it to describe all African-Americans and we don't care if they object

This is unfathomable and is a clear reminder that LGB people, like women, are given zero respect as an oppressed group. However, the vast definition of queer means that basically anyone can "identify" as queer and expect a free pass to use the word. But yes, "non-queers" are also given a pass because of the word's extensive use in academia. However, a ton of academic lit in the past referred to black people as n***oes, but a non-black person would lose their livelihood for referring to black people as such.

[–]Rage-Xion 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Totally agree. Especially when it's "reclaimed" by trans lesbians (aka heterosexual men). It's like if Blackface actors were telling black people that they should be ok with the N-word.

[–]Rag3 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I hate the term and I’ll never use it.

[–]Cuppatea 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel exactly the same. Who decided that’s what we want to be called? I am a lesbian. Not a queer.

[–]shveya 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's fucked up and I'm sorry you had to go through that. I will cringe even harder than I did before when I hear woque™ bicurious kids use that word.

[–]usehername 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Agreed. Also, I saw a comment here the other day that said that the word was being used as an adjective, not a noun, which makes it appear less offensive to normies. Not so. It's all "thank queers" this and "queers invented pride" that.

[–]pacsatonifil 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same! Specially when nice straight friends who aren’t homophobic drop it as if it’s ok. Like wtf bitch don’t call me that.