RantJune seems to be the month when straight people identify as queer

submitted by MiaXiang from (self.LGBDropTheT)

At least in my facebook feed. Suddenly a few too many friends are posting rainbows and "coming out" as "genderqueer". It's actually kind of pissing me off. These are folks in heterosexual relationships, who are not especially gender non-conforming, just maybe not 100% aligned with gender clichés, as if anyone is.

And don't get me started on the people using Marsha P. Johnson as their profile pics accompanied by bullshit lectures about who is responsible for LGB rights.

I do love my friends, but damn. I need to vent away from fb or I'm going to lose some of them.

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[–][deleted] 43 insightful - 20 fun43 insightful - 19 fun44 insightful - 20 fun -  (5 children)

I have a cousin who is "demisexual" who's posted a bunch of shit for Pride and keeps tagging me in all of them. She's literally never dated anyone but men and is married to a man.

But sure, cousin, we're totally in this together! You and your husband totally belong at Pride!

[–]malloww 27 insightful - 3 fun27 insightful - 2 fun28 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Oh god, that's like a tweet I saw yesterday that said something like, "happy pride! I'm still questioning but I think demi fits me!". All I could think was, so you're like 90% of other straight women in long term relationships???

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the majority of straight women are "demisexual" since it basically amounts to not wanting casual hook ups.

[–]MiaXiang[S] 14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

🙄

https://imgur.com/a/DmbltPp

[–]MiaXiang[S] 27 insightful - 7 fun27 insightful - 6 fun28 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

Apparently only wanting sex with someone you like emotionally means you're gay. And not being romantic means you're gay. Also whatever else that crap is. That also means you're gay.

[–]malloww 33 insightful - 3 fun33 insightful - 2 fun34 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

I live in the pacific northwest and I've come to the conclusion that "coming out" as some still very heterosexual form of "queer" is the new midlife crisis around these parts, especially among women. It definitely seems generally popular right now, but the number of 30-45 year old gender conforming women in straight, long term relationships that I know who have publicly declared themselves non binary or demi or whatever is off the charts. It's a pretty clear consequence of turning "queer" into an opt-in subculture about feeling different and being special, and not just being someone who happens to be attracted to the same sex. The most frustrating part to me is how many of these same people are clearly vaguely uncomfortable with legitimate homosexuality. I'm not close with anyone like that anymore, but it's weirdly hard to avoid around here.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's kind of how I see one of my friends who claims she's bisexual, although she's never dated or been with any women and exclusively been with men. I think she likes the idea of being bisexual and with women, but wouldn't ever actually do it, kind of like being queer.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

It comes across as some sort of Stuart Smalley "I'm not good enough and that's ok" exercise.

[–]Poppy29252Natal Cat Woman 28 insightful - 12 fun28 insightful - 11 fun29 insightful - 12 fun -  (5 children)

Yeah it's the month for my "bi" "friend" to post about how bi people in hetero seeming relationships are valid.

Please, tell me more about the one time you kissed a girl while drunk.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 32 insightful - 2 fun32 insightful - 1 fun33 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I don't mind bi people in straight passing relationships, but if they've only ever been in straight relationships, and don't show any intention of getting into same sex relationships despite gushing about how gay they are and love the same sex, it's really frustrating to see them pop up in pride month talking about how hard it is to be bisexual.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 30 insightful - 3 fun30 insightful - 2 fun31 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I don't mind bi people in straight passing relationships

I only do when they start lecturing people about how 'opressed' they are because everyone read them as straight in 99% of situations.

Like, bitch please, have some self-awareness.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 12 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Valid as what, though?

[–]usehername 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

vALid

[–]MiaXiang[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep. That too.

[–]MiaXiang[S] 24 insightful - 7 fun24 insightful - 6 fun25 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Like this for instance posted over a happy rainbow flag: "Happy Pride Month from your favorite genderqueer sapiosexual grayromantic friend. (She/her or they/them)." 😕

In all the years I've known this person they've never been in anything but hetero relationships

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 24 insightful - 8 fun24 insightful - 7 fun25 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

But like, she's super super super oppressed because she only wants to have sex and no romance with smart people. Give a girl/person a break/nbreak.

[–]serf_n_terfStraight Ally - Surf’s up! 🏄‍♀️ 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Louder for the people in the back!

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I rolled me eyes when I saw a straight mutual today suddenly contemplating if they're demisexual... 🥱

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, they're "half" something, all right... namely: halfwitted.

Maybe we should start responding to announcements of this "identity" with: "eh, I always thought that pottery-throwing-as-porn scene in Ghost was pretty silly, but hey... you do you."

[–]sadbihours 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was making a post about how we are probably gonna see more media stars come out as “genderqueer/nonbinary” this month to get their Pride applause and I just randomly googled to see some model/actress came out today as Nonbinary https://people.com/movies/lio-tipton-comes-out-as-queer-non-binary-analeigh-crazy-stupid-love-americas-next-top-model/

[–]usehername 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd like to start out by saying that I find people "coming out" as fake sexual orientations like "demisexual" or other B.S. like "genderqueer" annoying and harmful to our movement. I also want to say that it's not impossible that some people claiming to be bi could be faking it for woke points. Personally, I've never met someone like that but apparently some of you have. That's all anecdotal and I'm not going to claim they don't exist, but they don't seem to be very common, at least not nearly as common as closeted bisexuals. Bisexual people may use their sexuality to virtue-signal. However OSA (opposite-sex attraction)-leaning bisexuals do exist, and make up the majority of bisexuals, seeing as the majority of people are heterosexual. When you look at bisexuals' closet rate in the U.S. (more than twice as high as homosexuals), I don't think it's right to categorize these people as liars.

It doesn't seem like a big deal to say, "oh, she's not bi, she's only been with men so she's straight", and I understand where they're coming from. These people haven't shared in nearly as many struggles as gays and lesbians, or to a lesser extent non-OSA-leaning bisexuals have for their sexuality, but even if they're not out, they probably still feel self-loathing because of homophobia they witness and their own SSA. However, if this "straight" (bi) woman can be attracted to women, and maybe even end up in a relationship with one, and then perhaps end that relationship and end up with a man again, what are the implications for lesbians, especially lesbians who come out later in life, perhaps after dating exclusively men? This is why dating history is not an accurate measure of sexual orientation.

But on the other side of the coin, to say, "oh, she's not bi, she's only been with women so she's a lesbian and doesn't wanna admit it (not a view widely shared on this sub, but shared among the wider population)" is clearly a problem because this "lesbian" is also be attracted to men, fucking up the rigid definition of "lesbian" for all of them. This idea is easier to understand, because it's basically the TRA stance we're fighting against of, "attracted to women and "trans" women (feminine males)? lesbian."