Nothing makes me cringe and want to scream at the top of my lungs more than glorifying the word “queer”

submitted by nbailey73 from (self.LGBDropTheT)

You’ve seen it all by now. “Queer businesses,” “queer studies,” “I identify as gender queer,” “I’m a queer man,” “the queer community.” Is this not homophobia or am I just crazy? I cannot handle seeing these people online who proudly use the word queer as if it were never a terrible word and then acting like “reclaiming” it makes it totally okay to call someone queer. This word is horribly offensive and I hold it to the same standard as the f—-t word.

I can’t be the only one who feels this way.

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[–]Smolders1Cock is god's greatest gift. 34 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 0 fun35 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Queer is a nasty, horrible word that should have no place in the modern world.

[–]nbailey73[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think any derogatory term that historically has been used to dehumanize a group of individuals should be frowned upon. Reclamation is stupid— come up with a better word instead of using a word like q***r

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In place where I live, word "queer" is still used as a slur against feminine gay men, or to call "not manly man" as gay.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 31 insightful - 2 fun31 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 2 fun -  (7 children)

I absolutely HATE this word. And I hate that the wokesters have basically forced and bullied all the straight people into using this word now. It's at the point where if I tell the straight person that as a bisexual, I don't like this word, they either start arguing with me because someone else already gave them permission/pressured them into using that word, or growing silent and bitter because they don't want to argue about it, they just have that 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' feeling.

I don't know how to explain to straight people why this word is wrong and bad, because they know that I will never turn into a belligerent monster who tries to cancel them for using the word. Deep down inside they know I'm safe, so they don't fear me. But if deranged MTF who has the pronouns of suck/my/girldick screams at them to call all of us Faggots and Dykes now, they'll do it immediately, because they are scared. And they will fight with people like us and defend the people who scare and bully them.

I can't even explai to you the feeling of dying inside when you tell a straight person who gleefully uses the word queer and expects asspats and praise from you: "I actually don't use that word for myself, I'm just bisexual" and they just look at you like you killed their puppy. Like, I'm sorry sis, I understand that you want me to do the emotional labor of making you feel like a woke goddess who is on the right side of history but.......... No.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I tell straight people that they must never call me queer. If a straight person was told he had to use that word to describe us by a rabid, mentally ill non-binary woman, I’d double down and that person that he is still not allowed to call me queer. Just because you don’t engage in this cancer culture doesn’t mean you have to be spineless. And if a straight person is offended that I won’t go along with the woke indoctrination, then he deserves to be offended. I simply won’t be his friend if he can’t handle my act of dissidence. The non-binary idiot can take a hike.

[–]dramasexual 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I will very aggressively tell both straight and gay people to never call me queer under any circumstances. I've never gotten anything but confused acquiescence.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, you're right. I need to not feel obligated to try to explain why. I just need to put my foot down and say "Don't call me that, and don't argue!" nice doesn't work with these people. I have to be just as scary as the TRA's for them to realize they need to shut the fuck up and respect me. Thankfully I don't have to interact with these idiots IRL anymore.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t know anyone who has called me queer, so it doesn’t come up much. But I’ve told my family that I don’t like being called queer. And they respect that.

[–]fuck_reddit 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would say either " 'queer' is the word people yelled at Matthew Shepherd as they beat him bloody and left him to die." or "if you aren't willing to call me a f----t/d---e, then don't call me 'queer'. "

[–]reluctant_commenter 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Omg, fucking THANK YOU. I relate to this so much, lol.

[–]pinkpaperplates 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know how to explain to straight people why this word is wrong and bad

I’m straight and back in the 90s I was taught that the word “queer” is a slur; I think people of a certain age should know this (I’m 43).

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

On top of what you said about the Q word being a slur, the word is used by radical activists. I don’t want anything to do with them just because I am gay. I don’t want anything to do with intersectionalists, TRAs, non-binaries, anarchists, antifa, social justice warriors, snowflakes, overgrown children, science deniers, heterosexuals who just want to be special, cross dressers, fetishists and hedonists. The word queer now includes these groups of people. It sickens me. I just tell people that I’m not queer that all, that I’m just gay.

I find it ironic that we’re expected to be okay with the use of the word "queer" as a signifier for people like ourselves, but the word "homosexual" is "offensive". No, a homosexual is a person who is exclusively attracted to the same sex. But it makes sense that radical queer activists are offended by this obviously inoffensive word because the word proofs that biological sex is real and that you cannot run away from it.

[–]chandra 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I find it ironic that we’re expected to be okay with the use of the word "queer" as a signifier for people like ourselves, but the word "homosexual" is "offensive". No, a homosexual is a person who is exclusively attracted to the same sex. But it makes sense that radical queer activists are offended by this obviously inoffensive word because the word proofs that biological sex is real and that you cannot run away from it.

Yeah I think it's interesting: as far as I'm aware we'd generally moved away from the word 'homosexual' as sounding very clinical, but now that TRAs are working to muddy the definitions of our language it suddenly feels very relevant to have a word to explicitly mean same-sex (as opposed to gender identity) attracted.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Don’t get me wrong, I can see why people might not like the word homosexual because homophobes use that word in a clinical sense. But at the end of the day, calling a gay man or a lesbian a homosexual is like calling a white person white or a black person black. Queer just means seeking attention.

[–]fuck_reddit 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

At its root, "homosexual" means "same sex," whereas "queer" means "weird," so even though "homosexual" has clinical connotations... "queer" has connotations of "queer bashing" and the like... not really a good look for advocates of the word...

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've become suddenly fond of the word homosexual after learning about the guy who created it, Karl-Maria Kertbeny

[–]fuck_reddit 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Don't forget pedophiles. "Queer theory" was invented as a means of shoe-horning pedophilia into the gay liberation movement by French 'intellectuals.'

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Source? Would be curious to read more.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"Intergenerational sex" is discussed in Queer Theory, but not with any regular basis or aplomb.

  • Queer Theory An Introduction. Annamarie Jagose 1996 70-71

Drawing from citations there

  • The Homosexualization of America, The Americanization of the Homosexual. Dennis Altman 1982 198-202
  • Sexuality and its Discontent: Meanings, Myths and Modern Sexualities. Jeffrey Weeks 1985 223-231

And of course

  • Gayle Rubin's Thinking Sex

Which I consider mandatory reading, though that's not an endorsement.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is a good point. And extremely concerning. I despise paedophile activists, they should be behind bars.

[–]chandra 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In principle I'm not against reclaiming it, though I recognise that I probably only feel like that since, being semi-closeted and in my twenties, I've never experienced the word queer being used as a slur against me or anyone I know personally. I do hate it though. I see it as a word not for LGBTQ in general, but for members a specific worldview and movement that embraces all the nonbinary neopronoun 'exploring gender' weirdos. If someone called me queer, I'd cringe because I don't want to be connected to all of that, not because they had used an old slur.

[–]8bitgay 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

So, for other people whose mother language isn't English, how do you feel about it?

I find it so bizarre how local communities have adopted the word queer. In English at least it was already a word, and people have the excuse of saying they're appropriating it (whether you agree with it or not).

But here the word never existed until recently! They can't appropriate anything, because no one ever used queer as a slur here. And if there really existed some sincere need to create a new category of sexuality/gender/umbrella term (because queer magically is everything at once), then why the hell did no one create it before? Isn't it such a big coincidence that people only started identifying as a word that didn't even exist in our language just as this identity started becoming more popular in USA, the country which they keep trying to copy?

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

While I'm kind of out of the loop in regards to Serbia and LGBTQ activism over there, I've heard that they're using 'qvir' (although I'm not sure in what context) and that peder is now considered a slur. Peder used to be catch all term for gay men and gay people in general (lezbika for lesbians and biseksualac/biseksualna for bisexuals), however, the origin for peder comes from pederast, or pedophile. So if anything, using qvir might be better since it doesn't have that awful origin over there. Despite this, I'd prefer homoseksualna/lezbika over qvir since I've lived in an English speaking country all my life and have had queer hurled at me as an insult more than lesbian or homosexual.

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, same. "Queer" is used here too, it's "trendy" because it's English, basically. Online, people very much appropriate the American history of it. Offline, most people don't know what it means. They haven't heard of it.

Two years ago, pride in my city was stopped by a group of "radical queers", whatever that means. All I know is that they caused trouble and the march didn't happen as a result. The news and main LGBT groups said it was due to the bad weather though

[–]DestructionI ❤️ adult human females 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"Queer" is just self-comfort for straight people who hate their own heterosexual tendencies yet do not want to abandon the LGB-centric circles they inhabit. Much akin to leftists like Oliver Thorn transitioning to women to escape the pressures their ideological circle places on men. Let's not forget that this is all a "feelings" game for the TQ. If a man can "feel" like a woman then a straight person can "feel" gay. Feels are realz, folks!

[–]fuck_reddit 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I will report anyone to HR that calls me "queer." I'm not gonna be called a slur by some woke asshole who is so enlightened as to know what's best for me.

[–]jim_steak 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There really is nothing more infuriating than going into what is supposed to be a gay space and seeing homophobic slurs in every other post, and then being told by straight fetishists that those words have been "reclaimed" so we should shut up and stop complaining about their use.

[–]reluctant_commenter 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's homophobic, and it bothers me every time I hear it. Also, I appreciate all the people who make posts like this because I can never bring myself to just rant, and I completely agree with these posts.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

/u/julesburm1891 put it best:

I remain convinced that no one who claims “queer” has been reclaimed has ever actually had someone spit that word at them.

[–]Penguinberri 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When I was a teenager it was a slur. It would be spat at you as you walked down the street holding hands with your girlfriend. I hate hate hate how it's become part of mainstream language now.

[–]BiHorror 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It's just a word. At this point, I don't see it as a "slur" anymore but just nonsense hurled around by tras. Wouldn't call it out either becuase I'm not into language policing.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm not into it either, but I'd respect the wishes of anyone who doesn't want to be called a term that has historically negative connotations and currently little descriptive value.

I mean, I can paint my fingernails black and demand to be called "queer", or "non-binary" with custom pronouns. The word is gradually sliding back into it's original use to denote a general 'strangeness'. It really fits the type of people who like to be called "queer": Weirdos.

[–]BiHorror 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Apologies for late response: True but there are also a lot of other words that had negative conntations in the past (to their specific groups) but have been lifted from it. I think if we were remove that "baggage" from it, it would remove that "power" it holds. Honestly it wouldn't be that bad if it did go back to original meaning... Since it does work with said weirdos.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm young enough to not associate it with a slur. I'm not usually one for language policing (because I don't like that behaviour no matter who does it), however I'm a bit suspicious of people who call themselves queer. Like, why not just say you're gay or bi? I get suspicious that they might have something against saying they're gay or bi, or are basically a straight person or something or part of the silly +++ community.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're probably too young to remember the early 2000's when it first started getting really trendy to call yourself queer (around the same time pansexual became a thing) people would get really cagey and defensive when you asked them "what does queer mean?" or "when you say you're queer, what do you mean exactly?" They would start acting like these victims who are being attacked. Like "I don't owe you an explanation about who I am! Blah blah blah!" It was really bewildering. I'm just trying to figure out who the fuck you are and why you think you're entitled to sit with me.

I mean, the options are pretty narrow. You either like dick, pussy, both, or none. It's a very simple question. Why do you want to crawl up the ass of LGB if you are unwilling to answer this? You know our labels, you know what we like.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh......... I see. It's because being Queer has nothing to do with sexuality, and you don't belong here.

[–]Mermer 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I would love to study Women, but all I see available (at least in my country/area) are "gender studies". I don't give a shit about history of gender feelings I wanna learn about badass women and feminism.