all 10 comments

[–]soundsituation 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

If we're talking about someone who has really thought through all of this and is still pro-QT, no. I wouldn't respect her, so that's a non-starter. It's not just the magical thinking because I have dated religious women with no problem; it's the failure/unwillingness to see the incredible damage of things like self-ID, child transing and the chilling totalitarianism of the whole movement.

Any strategies for finding the sane pockets of LGB when navigating dating here in the post-homosexual era?

Nobody likes my dating strategy because it entails long stretches of singledom, but I like to get to know people organically (during which time you can assess their views on all kinds of things) before considering them romantically.

[–]jjdub7Gay Male Guest Commentator[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

still pro-QT, no. I wouldn't respect her, so that's a non-starter.

Yeah, this is kind of where I am with it, honestly - done playing magical thinking (love that phrase, use it all the time to describe T ideology) and therapist to what's shown itself to be the most obnoxious and entitled group of adult children on the planet. I have more productive things to actually do in life than signal my pretend support for a pretend marginalized social group, whose "characteristic" has nothing to do with my sexuality.

As for the unwillingness, I think most of the people who re/act this way (i.e. stubbornly continue to support despite being shown the Geiger counter because "there are worse things than radiation") do so in a way that involves conscious choice/ignorance and some level of self-satisfaction. Without commenting too much further on social justice generally, I've seen this attitude pop up again and again in that context - "it doesn't matter if this causes damage, I've been told that holding these beliefs is virtuous" - and I cannot stand that as a worldview.

my dating strategy...like to get to know people organically

Agreed 100%, though this isn't really a...priority...for most gay men. Bumble's probably the best bet for gay guys. I know HER was originally the go-to for lesbians, but its packed with more penises than Grindr these days.

[–]dramasexual 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

would (could) you date a girl with pro-trans views?

No. I have no flexibility on this point at all. I see a single pro-trans talking point and I'm out. I'm not having that shit in my life.

Is trans support a red flag in LGB circles?

Yep. But it's hard to find real LGB circles these days.

Any strategies for finding the sane pockets of LGB when navigating dating here in the post-homosexual era?

Honestly? I have no idea how to find them locally. The only thing I've ever been successful at is finding like-minded people online and traveling to them.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No. It'd be way too likely to cause fighting. Trying to date someone who's strongly ideological about metaphysical beliefs is just not a good time.

I don't really have the experience with finding a partner with sorting trans stuff out though. My current girlfriend and I both peaked at the same time from the same incident shortly after we started dating, so it fortunately never became an issue for us to argue over or anything.

[–]jjdub7Gay Male Guest Commentator[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I've gotten the general sense that lesbians seem to be presented with unique horrors by the whole ideological shift, and as such, tend to be more peaked on average. Gay men mostly stand to lose nothing, so it's just another social justice issue to buy into and signal support for to most of them.

[–]lefterfield 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I once dated a guy with very different views from my own. I enjoyed it, we had great arguments. But the first time I found out he'd bought into the trans stuff... I didn't break up with him over it, but I knew it would be a deal breaker eventually. Absolutely not ever. There's a difference between ideological disagreement and willful delusion.

[–]SpatOuttheKoolaid 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, I would not.

[–]terf41percentjanny 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm bi not lesbian, but no I would not date a person who supports the tras. whether its male or female, because I can't stand hypocrisy. I am going to say this, as a bi woman, who occasionally likes dating females, tras make it infuriatingly hard to express that part of my sexuality, because its harder to explain why I who occasionally likes one or both of sexes may be not be interested in dating a trans woman. there's so much more guilt trips and shaming when I come across one that makes looking for a woman to date simply not worth it in the long run. Just because occasionally I want penis, doesn't mean I want a girly dick, if I want that I'd go for a male, and not a female. What should be a simple no do not want, becomes a long conversation of why I should overlook factors into my attraction because its bigotted or some shit. when its in reality I only like male features on men, and female features on women, its simply hinders my attraction when its inverse. its hard for lesbians who only like women, but hinders those further who maybe inclined to like both men and women, as on one hand for normal males, its likes a fetish, and for tims its like well if you like dick then your obligated to like girly dick, and can't fall back on well I only like females to gtfo out of an awkward situation.

[–]Mermer 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Sleep/make out? Sure, why not

Date? Absolutely not.