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[–]dandeliondynasty 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think bi acceptance (for women at least) has gotten a lot better over the last 10-20 years. Celebrities are out, local politicians are out. When I was younger gay and straight classmates spent Gay-Straight alliance meetings telling bis we were attention seeking liars. I've felt best in explicitly bisexual social groups where I don't have to defend or apologize for my orientation.

[–]BiHorror 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think bi acceptance (for women at least) has gotten a lot better over the last 10-20 years

Now times for bi acceptance for men would be nice. Although, now only do we have the issues of that but also TQ+ adding to the shitstorm!

When I was younger gay and straight classmates spent Gay-Straight alliance meetings telling bis we were attention seeking liars. I've felt best in explicitly bisexual social groups where I don't have to defend or apologize for my orientation.

God, that's fucking appalling. It's good you found those bi social groups tho. Now only if we can make more places, especially outside the internet for bis to meet up with each other and such. Straights and LG have their own little group places, but bisexuals barely have anything and thus needed to choose one side or other.

[–]clitoriana 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think biphobia is more like, people not believing it exists, that it's a phase or a stepping stone to gay, or that "everyone is a little bit bi." (<--that last one is widely perpetuated by bisexuals themselves, but for some reason straight people like to say it too and it's yet another way actual bisexuality is dismissed and erased)

Also, the way it's hard for many to wrap their heads around the concept of bisexuality being a WHOLE sexuality on it's own and not half straight/half gay, or 60/40, etc. Not fluid - though our attractions and preferences and desires and behaviors may be fluid, our sexuality is and always will be BI.

There's also stereotypes about us being sexually deviant, predatory, only into sex and hooking up, incapable of real love, unfaithful cheaters, can't make up our minds, down to fuck anything that moves, STD-riddled, into threesomes and group sex and polyamory... I could go on. I know there are some bisexuals that fit those descriptions but we are an incredibly diverse group.

Some of this stuff can overlap with homophobia or misogyny, but these things are aimed toward bi people so I'd consider it biphobia.

I wish I knew how to address it. I think it would require a level of energy and willingness to put myself out there that I don't have. I don't engage with "the community" at large and my few close friends are lesbians. I just don't want to deal with everyone's preconceived notions about us, especially as a bi woman.

Not dating for a lot of reasons lol, especially during this pandemic. But I would only be interested in same-sex relationships, and preferably other bi women, because maybe we could understand each other more. It is highly unlikely that I'd pursue anything with a man, but if I ever did, I would only try it with a bi man. Too many straight men out there act like bi chick = free porn show for their entertainment or threesomes galore. Or get jealous. That shit is creepy.

[–]clitoriana 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm just going to reply to myself here with something I've been thinking about lately. I think the redefinition of bisexuality (mostly by actual bisexuals!) to mean "attracted to two or more genders" and the need to insist that bisexuality is not transphobic to avoid getting cancelled in our queer rape culture dystopia is an example of BIPHOBIA. I think it's biphobia that we can no longer call bisexuality what it actually is. I wish these self-hating, delusional weirdos would call themselves gendersexual or something. It's biphobic to obscure and redefine the meaning and reality of bisexuality just so genderpeople won't feel triggered. We don't exist to validate them. NO SEXUALITY EXISTS TO VALIDATE ANYONE ELSE'S IDENTITY.

It also leads to people that aren't even bi identifying as such, like lesbians who identify as bi because they're attracted to "women and nb woman-aligned genders" or some such nonsense. It's like the new version of "queer femmes" - lesbians who can no longer acknowledge that they're lesbians because their partner is FTM or uses they/them pronouns and believes they can't be women because they don't enjoy misogyny.

[–]BiHorror 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

If anyone can direct me to a more active space

Hello! I can direct you to s/LGBDROPTHET which is more active. Although, it's not bisexual centric, it's all three sexualities but there's a bisexual flare you can use for posts to specify about issues and such centering bisexuals!

what the people here would consider real biphobia to be like?

What I consider to be biphobia would be believing bisexuality doesn't exist (the whole "they can't choose one, it's just selfishness!" type of stuff if that makes sense), bisexuality is just for attention seeking, forced to choose between gay or straight, stereotypes, etc. Basically, alike to homophobia in some aspects but replace it with biphobia. I also consider biphobia when people pull the "gender identity" and pansexuality bullshit. Bisexual people aren't attracted to "gender identity," they're attracted to primary and secondary sexes dammit.

What are some unique challenges we face, and how could we go about addressing them given the current climate around these issues?

As for any unique issues of right now, I haven't really connected with other bisexuals (can't really when there isn't a stable community for it) but on the saidit sub I gave you, there's a post relating to health issues and bisexuals. If you like, I can get it for you. Other than that, I think the whole trying to appropiate the definition of bisexuality to include "gender identity" is an issue. Especially when people pull put that shitty "Bisexual Manifesto" as an excuse, since that obviously and truly speaks for all bis. As for how we go about addressing it... Good question.

How do you navigate both straight and same-sex dating as a bi person right now?

I'm het-leaning, and not currently dating. I'm not exactly sure how to answer this, I mean, when I was dating, I just got into the relationship (I dated more women than men despite being het leaning) and was honest with them. I'm bisexual who's het leaning. If they wished to continue to date, then we did, and if we didn't? Alright, that's fine. I think if I were to open up to dating again, it would probably be with other bisexuals tho. Especially considering the whole lesbians/gays vs bisexuals climate going on.

[–]Constantine[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you! I'm already pretty active on there. I was hoping to find something along the lines of r/truebisexuals since I wasn't involved with that before it was banned, but DroptheT has been a good substitute!

I'm bisexual who's het leaning. If they wished to continue to date, then we did, and if we didn't? Alright, that's fine. I think if I were to open up to dating again, it would probably be with other bisexuals tho. Especially considering the whole lesbians/gays vs bisexuals climate going on.

Yeah, this is kind of my problem. The bi people I know are all pretty nuts and wrapped up in the "queer" bullshit, while the lesbians are understandably wary of us. And don't even get me started on straight men.

[–]BiHorror 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, this is kind of my problem. The bi people I know are all pretty nuts and wrapped up in the "queer" bullshit,

Unfortunately, I don't know any bisexuals but I've seen the nuts cases online tho. Especially with the whole "attracted to gender (identity)" despite bisexual literally has SEX in it. Then you got the whole "pansexual" thing, which while are annoying, I rather have the genderqUeErs go with them.

while the lesbians are understandably wary of us. And don't even get me started on straight men

Yeah, understandable, even tho I have seen where some take it over the top and it becomes biphobia. Then those types of straight men... Ugh.

[–]PenseePansy 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

on the saidit sub I gave you, there's a post relating to health issues and bisexuals.

Hey, was that my post? The LG's dismissive reaction (or should I say NONreaction) to which put me in a funk for DAYS?

[–]BiHorror 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Was it your post? I don't know. I think the only reaction (if I'm remembering correctly) that was there and pretty okay was Lizard's.

[–]PenseePansy 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Sure sounds familiar! Here it is BTW:

https://saidit.net/s/LGBDropTheT/comments/6gjr/are_bi_people_esp_at_risk_health_etc/

And yeah, Lizard's response was certainly one of the few bright spots (he always seems to stand up for bi people against LG shittiness). Also appreciated ElectricSheep's thoughtful input (and the fact that this really "introduced" us).

[–]BiHorror 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, while he does have (to me personally) quite the opinions of homosexuality, he is quite the darling when it comes to standing up against some LG who can be shitty. ElectricSheep's was also nice to see. Unfortunately, it feels like he's the only bi man here. I mostly see bi women on LGBDropTheT.

Edit: know reading back on it made me feel as if I got sucker punched in the stomach on where he stands within the article since I know I majority fit those.

[–]PeakingPeachEater 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It would be nice to have an active place for bisexuals similar to r/truebisexuals! Perhaps if we post here more often we can make it more active.

So I guess I'm wondering what the people here would consider real biphobia to be like?

Biphobia is when people hold terrible stereotypes against us. That we sleep around, are players/cheaters, are secretly heterosexual OR homosexual(no inbetween), that we're liars since we've only been with ONE sex, therefore in their eyes we are not "truly" bisexual--also, that we have to love both sexes identically otherwise---once again---secretly hetero OR homo, that we're NOT monogamous and are hypersexual, and lastly we are attention seeking/fake and don't belong anywhere.

AND...Biphobia is them treating us terribly differently based on these stereotypes...

What are some unique challenges we face, and how could we go about addressing them given the current climate around these issues?

Not sure exactly how to "address" them in particular. It seems since the TQ+ become popular, it also became popular to hate on the B, as though we're also part of the problem and "preying" on both opposite AND same-sex...

How do you navigate both straight and same-sex dating as a bi person right now?

Most people assume I am homosexual rather than bisexual. It's annoying that because I dress a certain way, they think I am only one way or the other and seem to forget bisexuality exists.

As a female bisexual, I haven't necessarily had issues with my love life, just the people outside of it are highly judgemental.

My (religious) brothers think it's a "phase". My coworkers/"friends" thought I was secretly same-sex attracted ONLY. They'll ask if I have a "boyfriend" back when I was single, said no and they quickly ask if I have a "girlfriend". Had coworkers tell me they thought I was only same-sex attracted. Most likely the people asking if I had a "boyfriend" were just tryingg to be polite...

Lastly, people I was with romantically don't care lol and that's ultimately all that matters to me. I would want a partner who's fine with me being who I am. My currently partner doesn't care at all that I'm bi.