all 24 comments

[–]sawboss 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I think The Golden Rule is a good place to start. At the very least, don't assume malice where there's any possibility of misunderstanding or incorrect reasoning.

[–]Zombi[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Oh god how much the latter half of your post is correct. I think we're all general good and most people genuinely want what they believe to be best for everyone. We all just go about it differently. We're human after all, it's in our nature to deviate from each other and make mistakes, miss certain things, or interpret things differently. At the end of the day, though, we really are just trying to do what we believe is right.

[–]sawboss 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I don't believe people are mostly good. I believe people are selfish. Altruistic idealism leads to unimaginable horrors because it isn't founded in objective reality.

If you really want to do good in the world, first define what you mean by good. Next, challenge yourself to do things which measure up to that definition without causing harm to others. If you ever figure that out, then teach.

[–]Zombi[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Meh, people can be both selfish and also looking out for the best for others. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive. You could argue anything with any will to live is inherently selfish, which would make being unselfish impossible.

There are also tons of things that can lead to unimaginable horrors, but I highly doubt supporting a friend through hard times, helping someone move from their house, feeding those in need, or just going through life trying to make others happy will lead to unimaginable horrors. Either way, my point still stands even if it does lead to horrors: Most people want to make others happy/do good for the world. Whether they actually do good (which if you REALLY want to get into a whole debate about that, then yes there is no objective good or evil, but that's a tiring conversation that doesn't really get us anywhere) is up for debate, but that's not the point I'm arguing.

I'm saying most people want to do good for themselves and others.

[–]sawboss 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

people can be both selfish and also looking out for the best for others

Considering your own life, which of those comes more naturally to you? Which one requires more mental effort? I maintain that selfishness is the natural human trait, not altruism. We morally weaken ourselves when we deny our own nature, for who can honestly evaluate the worth of anything without understanding its true properties?

But I sense that I am not well prepared to persuade you to my way of thinking. I'll turn you over to someone more learned.

[–]Zombi[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I consider both a natural human trait. Some may exhibit one more than the others, but all around humans naturally exhibit both selfishness and altruism. We have stolen and killed for our own gain and we have given up our possessions and lives for eachother.

Whatever side takes more mental effort is all dependent on the individual. It doesn't take much mental effort to be kind and it doesn't take little effort to be cunning and ruthless. Hell, some of our most evil deeds are some of the most complicated and thought out, while some of our best or "good" deeds have been extremely simple, like doing unto others as you'd have done to you.

I think it is morally weak to totally deny one side of a two sided coin. We humans are not black and white creatures and if we are so selfish then how did we get to where we are today? You don't evolve into an animal that survives best in a group while also being completely selfish. In order for us to be social animals there must be an inherently selfless and altruistic aspect, otherwise how would a group survive if everyone is looking out for themselves?

Even if altruistic actions are for self preservation, that still makes the altruism a core part of ourselves as it is the way in which we are able to realize our selfish agendas.

[–]sawboss 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it is morally weak to totally deny one side of a two sided coin. We humans are not black and white creatures and if we are so selfish then how did we get to where we are today? You don't evolve into an animal that survives best in a group while also being completely selfish. In order for us to be social animals there must be an inherently selfless and altruistic aspect, otherwise how would a group survive if everyone is looking out for themselves?

I somewhat agree with this. Anyway, I urge you to read the book. If you can overcome your initial reservations it may change how you view humanity.

[–]SecretlyHistoric 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

In traffic: Be predictable, not polite. Interpersonal: Listen to understand, not to reply. In cooking: if you're not a great chef, find some recipes online or in a cookbook and follow them. In Life:Find something you you enjoy doing by yourself. Do that thing when you get stressed

[–]Robin 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Suggested summary #1 of the above: "Be who you want to be." Suggested summary #2: "Be who you are."

[–]Robin 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

One day a week with no screen time? I've spontaneously had similar fasts before, usually when I was feeling healthy and in control, and it generally amplified that feeling while helping me get more out of real life. To anyone who says "not possible!" I ask what's changed, since it certainly used to be. I've heard rumours the Ancient Roman's didn't even have internet...

[–]Robin 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Perhaps I should add, no newspapers/magazines either, but perhaps that's pretty much a given.

[–]JWPH 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

..and focusing yourselves on reading worthwhile reads such as books, novels, et cetera, and maybe some exercise will help, especially when waking up.

Also doing activities such as drawing on physical media (rather than digitally) and climbing.

[–]Zombi[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I literally cannot do that as my job requires I work with a computer, but I've heard really good things about the "social media detox". Sometimes it all just piles up and even I get down because of it. Great suggestion!

[–]Robin 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Do you do 7 days a week? Or could you sneak in a Sabbath day somewhen?

[–]Zombi[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I could possibly, but usually I need to access a computer every day for some work related thing. I do try to get out at least once a week though!

[–]HurkaDurka 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Don't lie or make personal insults when arguing with people. It turns a conversation completely pointless.

Don't take your emotions out on people around you. Explain to them you are having a bad day, and apologize in advance for any "shrapnel" they get hit with from your emotions.

Don't make people clean up after you (unless it literally their job, and even then, minimize the impact) because you are an adult and don't need to live the life of a perpetual child.

[–]fred_red_beans 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I agree. Broad generalizations about another individual because of what group they may belong to or are believed to belong to do not help in understanding their point of view. There certainly are many who go along with what "authorities" tell them is true without further consideration, but everyone is an individual. I think willingness to listen to another point of view, even if you disagree, helps with critical thinking. That doesn't mean you have to listen to everything anyone says or engage with everyone with which you may disagree.

I think communication based on specifics of a topic is better than generalizing someone. I also think it's worth while to attempt to accept another's point of view and be able to agree to disagree.

No two individuals will agree on everything. There will always be something that will/can not be agreed upon.

[–]HeyImSancho 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Making someone's day could be simple acknowledgement that they're alive. The best sustainable thing I would suggest, is simple respect. It's a great 2 way street, when you're respectful(opposite of hurtful, angry, jealous, et el), and treat people at least civilly, usually they act in turn; meaning stress levels go down.

I pitty the fool who loves to give crap, because that's all they'll get.

[–]TimesThreeTheHighest 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think really listening to what people are saying, and suspending judgement on what they're saying for a while is a good place to start. A lot of people don't hear each other.

[–]JasonCarswell 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

[–]EndlessSunflowers 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We don't have to agree with someone 100% on all things. Slim chances of that happening, so there is often a wedge between us. We all may want different things in life, value different things, and our differences make the world brighter and more interesting!

Kindness is a beautiful thing!

[–]Entropick 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Get in the best physical condition you are able. Improves everything, is free and can be easy to do.

[–]Zombi[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is a near health crisis in our world. Physical activity is so, so good for not only your health, but your mental health as well. I noticed an amazing decrease in depression/anxiety when I started going and exercising every week. It's so easy to get comfortable and stay inside or loaf around, but the benefits of exercise for all aspects of you and how you feel cannot be undersold. Great suggestion, friend!

[–]1ab2cd3ef 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Be gentle, be kind. Feel compassion for yourself. And make the first steps.

What you call the "outside world" is happening between you and yourself only. And you're kidding yourself if you think you're in control of that self-made matrix.

Feeling fulfilled (in the sense of having enough, not craving for something else) with whatever's happening in the moment is a skill everyone, anywhere can learn. It's a matter of pov: less emotional resistance = more open heart/mind.

Avoid us & them mentality, making statements about "other people" or pointing fingers.

There's only you here. And you need compassion. So you can take another step.