'Miss Piggy' who had nose bitten off jailed for syringe attack on Uber driver

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Naked fella chases victim through hotel with a toilet plunger yelling “I’m going to f***ing get you”

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Perv caught stealing underwear from washing lines to dress up his sex doll

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'My husband bought me a gimp mask so I worry he finds my face unattractive'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Model was so 'poo shy' she held it in for two weeks – then passed out on the job

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'Notorious' drug-ridden UK street where '£1 hookers' proposition pensioners

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Mum raging as daughter's 'inappropriate' pink pig drawing confiscated at school

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Vile 'God hates fags' church waging war on 'trans juggernaut' and gay people

by HongKongPhooey to /s/WorldNews from (dailystar.co.uk)

'I want baby with husband 61 years older - he's 85 and wooed me like a player'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Naked night stalker wanders car park for four hours before defecating on floor

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Newlywed pervert performed sex act at 70mph as he smiled at women 'in state of shock'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Randy couple who used trout in grim sex act charged with bestiality offences

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Petrol station staff horrified after finding severed human penis in car park

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Thief tries stealing 30-inch dildo but it was 'too thick' to fit through door

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Female teacher 'drove student to cemetery 3 times a week for steamy sex romps'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Desperate Brit fixes broken teeth with £3.99 Amazon plastic and superglue kit

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Nan buys stuffed monkey that ‘looks like sex toy’ for child but real use is even weirder

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'Dangerous' Brit teen's extremist videos influenced shooter to kill 10 in US supermarket... Wouldn't it be funny if some of these posts on said it that talk about hatred for Jews ended up influencing a shooter to kill Jews and then magnora and several of the managers of said it ended up in prison

by Monkeyshiner to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Bloke swallows full banana wrapped in condom during 'fit of rage' in first-ever incident

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Sicko who broke into church to watch porn tracked down thanks to 'mess' left on laptop

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Wife storms brothel and slaps £49-an-hour prostitute she caught with husband

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'Breakfast gimp' fuels sexual nightmares after bloke dresses up as full English

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Tragic girl, 14, died after inhaling deodorant as spraying it 'comforted' her

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Tragic girl, 14, died from cardiac arrest after inhaling deodorant as spraying it 'comforted' her

by carn0ld03 to /s/Death from (dailystar.co.uk)

Man and daughter blamed sick incest relationship on 'genetic sexual attraction'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Stunning model who married cousin twice her age insists 'I'm not a gold digger'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Molly-Mae Hague says she 'tried to breastfeed' herself and says it's 'possible'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'Dog cum in coffee is the best creamer, and it helps you have clear skin' wfs would rather be transcanine than be with wm.

by AuricChicken to /s/GoldensFirst from (dailystar.co.uk)

Woman forced to have sex with stranger to save life of man she was on date with

by HongKongPhooey to /s/WorldNews from (dailystar.co.uk)

'My kitten is so big he's taller than a 5-year-old kid – and he'll get bigger'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Woman tells cops crack pipe they found found hanging out of her vagina during strip search was a sex toy

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Vatican investigating alleged lockdown 'sex party' inside Brit cathedral

by HongKongPhooey to /s/WorldNews from (dailystar.co.uk)

'I dated 23-year-old trapped in 8-year-old's body - but trolls call me a creep'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Chilling CCTV shows moment Brit 'incel' mass killer stalks streets armed with shotgun

by HongKongPhooey to /s/WorldNews from (dailystar.co.uk)

Hunt for university 'phantom pooer' after huge turd dumped on bathroom floor

by HongKongPhooey to /s/WorldNews from (dailystar.co.uk)

Woman with 'perfect poo' divides fans by selling faeces for people to eat

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Boy, 15, thought 'he'd hit jackpot' after woman, 28, groomed him with booze and weed

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Failings that led Aryan Brotherhood member with Nazi tats to become triple child killer

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Vile couple dumped abused dog's body in suitcase with one of their names on it

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Rapist who decapitated and cooked son's rabbit caught armed with broken bottle

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Young people are turning to Satanism over 'stuffy and outdated' Christianity

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Gamer sparks police raid after butt dialling cops and making 'murder confession'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Man sheds 11st in nine months by ditching £2k-a-year Pepsi addiction

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'My old teacher said I'd go nowhere in life – but now he pays thousands for my OnlyFans'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/LateStageCapitalism from (dailystar.co.uk)

Brave influencer sexually assaulted by stranger who 'ejaculated on her trousers'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'Transcanine' woman fired from job and banned from OnlyFans for sex act with dog

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Sex hungry tortoise saved entire species from extinction and fathered 800 kids

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

'Predatory' sex offender seen 'in changing rooms' and told boy 'about erections'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Tattooed star who posed naked near church faces jail for 'insulting believers'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Dad, 50, with three wives welcomes 60th child – he now wants a new wife and bus

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Prince Harry remembers 'unforgettable smell' of shop he bought Nazi outfit from

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Inside the neo-Nazi street fighting gang who 'trained followers to riot and beat people'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/politics from (dailystar.co.uk)

Man accused of chewing off OAP's face to expose skull thought he was 'killer robot'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'I went years without bonking anyone – but a sex doll helped me find love again'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Commuters shocked as hundreds of people ride London Underground without trousers

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Bloke stripped 'naked' in front of fishermen after mixing Viagra with cocaine

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Jabba the Hutt shows off famous curves in tiniest string bikini yet as it slaps bum

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Naked ramblers called 'Stark Trekkers' ditch clothes to brave nippy walks

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Woman kidnapped girl, 8, from playground before running down the street naked screaming

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Man's security camera spots rare albino squirrel going '50 Shades of Grey' in garden

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Chinese Boy, 12, undergoes horror surgery after shoving entire thermometer up his penis

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Daughter tracked down long lost dad who then had sex with her when she turned 18

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Dangerous driver who almost hit 3 men outside pub tells court he has '2 ANUSES'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Sex-starved Buddhist monk 'smiles' as he tries to cut off his penis with knife

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Barking and squealing 'Deliverance' inbred family member 'learned how to talk from dogs'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Thor the 'Wanking' walrus brings entire UK town to standstill with public sex display

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'I wear make-up and velour clothes at gym, it shows men what they can't have'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'I meditate with my womb – it helps me connect to my vagina and perform in bed'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Woman called 'dirty' for showering 2-3 times a week – but says she's not smelly

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Pokemon fan sparks outrage after dog dyed like Pikachu brought to NBA game

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Man with 102 children orders 12 wives on pill as he can't 'tolerate any more'

by Musky to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Bloke spent £12.5k turning himself into a dog but worries pals 'think he's weird'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Creep dressed as woman to 'snap shoppers in toilets' before wielding 'handgun'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Woman baffles doctors after accidentally leaving tampon in for two years

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Brit's horror as naked burglar dies after smashing into glass in rape attempt

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

UCSF apologizes for 2,600 'human mosquito' medical experiments on prisoners

by HongKongPhooey to /s/corruption from (dailystar.co.uk)

Brave naked bloke busted would-be thieves before putting on briefs to fight them

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'I'd rather mow the lawn with my teeth than wear a bra – but I always look classy'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Jeff Stelling blames sons for pic of penis 'wrapped in bacon' on his Twitter

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Parents arrested as baby found living in car with cockroaches, reptiles and guns

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

'I'm a carnivore and follow the lion diet – I eat nothing but beef'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Mum drank 4.5 litres of own breast milk on holiday and described how it tasted

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Doctor warns of 'stupid sex trend' where Christmas ornaments used to masturbate

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Priest 'close to Pope' accused of having 'Holy Trinity' threesomes and using "psycho-spiritual" methods of control

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Drivers risk £2.5k fine for standing next to car after drinking this Christmas

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Man issues chilling warning after harrowing trip to 'Hell' during 'heart attack'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'I water plants with period blood and put it on face – it's good as paint too'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Woman selling couch on Facebook Marketplace for £700: "Selling because husband had diarrhea on one of the cushions and I can't get the smell out. Need to go ASAP."

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Kids' ward evacuated after pensioner shows up at A&E with WW1 bomb up his ass

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Couple 'took' girl, 8, who'd been dead 3 months on trip to 'spend time with her'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Rapist forced victims to eat own poo and claimed to be Tyson Fury's relative

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Meet the man who became famous after his skin turned blue

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Man crowned world's shortest person stands at 2ft tall and 'loves the attention'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/whatever from (dailystar.co.uk)

Dirty-minded Brits left 'cackling' at inflatable snowman with 'vagina'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Mum who used to wet herself in school owns trolls by selling soiled knickers on OnlyFans

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Monster with 'shark teeth' tied pregnant woman to bed and pimped her out

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Bloke forced woman to penetrate him with massage tool at beauty salon

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

You can now clean your smartphone in McDonald's toilets - but only if you're in Japan

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

'My 55-inch bum is so big I hid bottles of booze in it to go clubbing'

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

Woman scraps Tinder date after spotting 'skidmark' in the lad's saucy snap

by HongKongPhooey to /s/NotTheOnion from (dailystar.co.uk)

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